I’m so thrilled to have Regan Hastings on the blog today! It’s release day for her brand new paranormal romance, Visions of Skyfire, and in addition to her guest post, she’s offering up one copy of the first book in the series, Visions of Magic (it’s awesome, and I tell you why HERE), to one lucky winner, so be sure to check the details at the bottom of the post!
Please welcome Regan to the blog!
Evil, Thy Name is Muzak
by Regan Hastings
Evil in this world manifests itself in the form of on-hold muzak, music so bad it makes you go, “Ack!”
I’m on hold right now with my internet provider. The seemingly innocuous instrumental is meant to soothe the nerves but instead does the exact opposite. I’ve been on hold for 16 minutes so far, and I’ve yet to speak to anyone. I went through the whole “Press 1 for English” rigmarole, entered my zip code, hit pound. (What I really wanted to do was hit pound, pound, POUND!!!)
18 minutes, 17 seconds.
This infernal muzak has cycled through 6 times so far. Each time I hear the opening bars, my blood pressure rises. This song came from the Rejected Sitcom Theme Songs pile. It wasn’t even good enough for Saved by the Bell, and the freakin’ internet company was too cheap to spring for a second tune, so at least they could alternate. No, that would imply caring about their customers’ comfort and wellbeing.
21 minutes, 4 seconds.
Oh. My. GOD! I’m not kidding – the call just failed.
3 minutes, 31 seconds later, after re-entering 1 for English, my account number, pound (pound, pound, POUND!!!)… I’m on hold again, at the back of the queue. And yep, you guessed it. The evil muzak’s opening bars have put me right back on the edge of insanity.
Is this Hell?
If I get cancer in my left ear, can I sue my internet provider?
7 minutes, 34 seconds into the second call. Still no sign of humanity.
VISIONS OF SKYFIRE, Book 2 of The Awakening, comes out on October 4, the day this blog is scheduled to be posted. Teresa Santiago’s powers have Awakened. She’s always known she was destined to be one of the most powerful witches in the world, but even so, she’s shocked when she discovers she can call down the lightning and direct it toward her enemies.
13 minutes, 23 seconds… I could use Teresa’s powers right about now. (I’m not making up these numbers! You are truly bearing witness to my torture.)
As the hellacious muzak begins once more, enjoy this brief excerpt from VISIONS OF SKYFIRE:
Teresa fought to hone her magic. To perfect the power that had begun to quicken inside her only days ago. She had known what was coming all her life. What she was destined for. But the mystery had been when her magic would appear. The world wasn’t a good place for witches these days, but magic ran in her blood, stretching back through her family’s maternal line for generations. She should have been able to draw on that legacy, but in the face of this new and overwhelming power, she was lost.
She stood tall, her cowboy boots planted far apart to give her a sense of stability that she was sorely lacking. Gritting her teeth, she concentrated, and swung her hand out again to direct another whip of lightning across the desert. Instantly a jagged bolt flew—in the wrong direction.
Teresa shrieked as her black truck exploded into a fireball. Flames leaped into the air, plumes of smoke twisted in the wind and flaming tires shot off the body of the truck like Frisbees from hell. As thunder still rattled the sky and wind howled, Teresa stared at the smoking hulk of her truck.
“Son of a bitch.” She kicked the sand and thought not only about the incredibly long walk back home she had to look forward to but also about her now-burned-to-a-crisp cell phone. She couldn’t even call someone to help her. She was stuck—no water, no food, no way home.
She’d grown up here, so she wasn’t a stranger to the desert. But the thought of a long walk back to town through the rain with the storm chasing her sent her stomach to her knees. Added to that was the fact that she couldn’t quite shake the feeling that she was being watched . . .
28 minutes, 13 seconds, and that’s after the first call failed. Evil bastards.
Epilogue: 38 minutes, 22 seconds into the second call… the call failed. I’m a writer, but I can’t make this stuff up.
Do you agree that on-hold muzak is evil? What are some of the other evils of the modern world?
*Regan Hastings is Maureen Child, the USA Today Bestselling author of more than one hundred romance novels and novellas. A six time nominee for the prestigious RITA award from the Romance Writers of America, Maureen’s books have been translated into dozens of languages around the world and she’s even had one of her books made into a CBS-TV movie. Regan/Maureen do agree on one thing completely. Love really can conquer all. And in the world of dark paranormal…that’s the only thing you can count on.
Keep up with Regan: Website | Facebook
Purchase Visions of Skyfire: Amazon | Barnes and Noble
1.Giveaway is for one copy of Visions of Magic to one winner.
**GIVEAWAY IS CLOSED. Thanks so much for entering!**
About Visions of Magic:
In the ten years since magic has reemerged in the world, witches have become feared and hunted. For weeks Shea Jameson has been haunted by visions of fire. When she unintentionally performs a spell in public, she becomes one of the hunted. Her only hope is Torin, a dangerously sensual man who claims to be her eternal mate.