I recently asked the lovely (and funny!) Sonya Bateman
, author of Master of None
, to write a guest post for me. She graciously agreed, and I’m so excited to welcome her to the blog! In addition, one lucky winner will win a personalized, signed copy of Master of None
(provided by Sonya), so be sure to fill out the form at the end of the post! She’ll also be stopping by the blog throughout the week to answer any questions you may have, so feel free to post a question for Sonya in the comments!Giveaway will run through 1/31!
*GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED*
**What follows is a “conversation” between Sonya, Gavyn Donatti, hero (and wiseguy), Jazz (Gavyn’s lethal and beautiful girlfriend), Robert Gray (didn’t make the cut) and Ian (perpetually cranky Djinn) of Master of None
Characters: ALove/Hate Relationship
Thanks so much for having me over, Kristin!
I have a confession for you: sometimes, I really hate mycharacters.
Not all the time, mind you. This is a special, specific kindof hate – it usually crops up sometime around chapter 5 or 6 in my writingprocess, when the excitement of beginning a new story has ground to a halt, andsuddenly, my characters are just standing there looking at me, saying, “Nowwhat?”
This shouldn’t be a problem. I’m the creator, and all I’msupposed to do is decide that now it’s time for *this* to happen, and it does.I type a few words and off things go, just the way I want them to, ininteresting and compelling directions.
Only when it comes to the middle of the story, this Does NotHappen.
What happens is something like this:
Me: All right. Now that you’ve managed to escape from thefirst bunch of villains and run into a mysterious monk, who’s actually an evildjinn, you’re going to take him home with you and—
Donatti: Screw you.
Donatti: You’re doing it wrong. See, this guy should be deadright now. Ian would kill him as soon as he saw him.
Ian(Djinn): That is correct. Excuse me, I have a monk to murder.
Me: Hold it! I need him. He’s a major character in thisstory. You can’t just—
Ian: He is, as you humans say, toast.
Me: Don’t even think about it. I told you, I… wait asecond. Ha! You don’t have his tether. You can’tkill him.
Ian: Watch me.
Donatti: No, she’s right. But there’s no way in hell we’rebringing him home.
Jazz: Damn straight you’re not.
Me: Jazz, you’re not even IN this scene!
Jazz: Well, I should be. You just don’t like femalecharacters.
Me: That is so not true. It’s just that Donatti’s the maincharacter, and this is in first person, so he gets more page-time.
Robert Gray: Ishould be the main character. I’m more interesting.
Me (and everyone else): Who the hell are you?
Robert Gray: You cut me out of the first book. Remember?
Donatti (under his breath): Yeah, there was a reason forthat…
Me: Will you all justbehave and do what I tell you to? I’m in charge here!
Of course, this doesn’t really
happen. I’m not crazy enough (yet) to believe my characters have somehow acquiredminds of their own, and are carrying on somewhere without my input orknowledge. I’m sure there’s some fancy, scientific explanation about thesubconscious mind, the id and the ego, the complex intricacies of the humanimagination and the way neurons fire in the brain.
But I’m not a scientist. I’m just a writer, with charactersthat refuse to behave.
Fortunately, they’re usually right, and I end up loving themagain – it just takes me a while to see that.
(And if I ever go missing, please check the trunk ofDonatti’s car.)
You can download Sonya’s Ebook, The Getaway, for only $1.99 at Smashwords!
The Getaway features sample chapters from Master of None
and a longer exclusive excerpt from Master and Apprentice
not available anywhere else!
About the author
Sonya Bateman lives in upstate New York, where there are two seasons: winter, and construction. Currently, the household includes her husband and son, her sister and two nephews, five cats (four of them are insane) and one dog who wishes to be a cat.
In addition to spending a lot of time writing, she is attempting to learn how to speak Japanese. So far, she can say hello, thank you, and why don’t we go to your place for a drink? She does not plan to speak to any native Japanese speakers with her limited vocabulary at this time, as the conversation may lead in the wrong direction.
Read my review of Master of None
Look for the next exciting Gavyn Donatti adventure, Master and Apprentice, available March 29th from Simon & Schuster!